Monday, July 24, 2017

Sup with them homies

I must, somehow believe that they're mine and I'm the only person in charge. I've been played by my emotions, under various circumstances. The moment I decide to make my life my own is when I am able to protect my emotions.

Because there is no such a thing as a person who does these things I like to believe I'm able to do. Being lonely in such a crowded place. Feeling sick is not an option, being sick wasn't my choice. I was awarded with the intimacy of being surrounded and scattered by all means. It used to be a 60% chance that I might do it, and the remainig 40% was that voice telling that I should. Follow, not lead... believe in my dreams and become the beginning of it. How does this happen to me, you may wonder, what was it like before it all began.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Life Of A Girl

What's with the blouse?

"You're going to look like a whore"

-You're never going to find someone  to marry... with those looks.

So much will that it ended up happening. I was only fifteen years old back then. Today -I'm young- only twenty two and still have not found someone to marry with.

Monday, March 21, 2016

Thinking Creatively

What else do you want from me God? Have I not been the person you expected me to be? How much more must I prove to you? I can't stop doing it. It's not what I came here to do. I can stop it for a moment, maybe a few years, please understand that I'm not here with you. The body made me do it, I came across the joint and it blew up my whole mind.

Have I not fornicated enough? I may have not. All I remember is that when she lost her virginity I felt nothing, nothing. I had no feelings for her or whatsoever, she was just an object to me and I faked all my the emotions I seemed to have during those wonderful years.

Breaking up with her was not a mistake, it's something that happened while the blowing wind convinced me to do that. Her heart was torn to pieces and she will never forgive me. I understood what it feels like to be in her shoes, it took time but eventually I did. I moved on and she did the same but when we saw each other again the smell of her skin convinced me to sin again.

We haven't seen each other ever since, she probably hates me and I don't expect to hear from her. Instead of flowing with that I am now being told to do, I prefer to convince myself again and it wasn't true. I made up those feelings and I alone let them consume me so what better solution than being myself. This will not be easy, I won't give up that easily but I have to.

Give me a reason God, was it how envious I felt for others, that happened. It must have been a mistake, because I thought they were all better than me and I forgot about you. Now that you're with me I know we'll get past the seasons and years to come. You and I alone will not fail, like you said previously, it's not the intention that counts it is who counts in it, God, please forgive me, I don't.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

The hours started passing by while all of the sudden the mirrors were  no longer necessary. In a situation like this I would usually have a pack of cigarettes to cope with depression. I'm not saying I need a pack of cigarettes because of how ugly I am. This means I'm ugly and I need a pack of cigarettes. What for?

Well, since I can remember my pets were unusual, I have had turtles, owls, birds (not many), cats, dogs, even lizards. Out of all these pets I killed most of them, why?

Let's say the dog is inspired by the smell of human, well, I'm not inspired by it. I think humans stink and they're disgusting, I like animals much better. Once I went to the zoo to admire the beauty of all these animals. They all seemed a little irritated by the fact that they had to live in cages. I watched them stretch and nothing more, some played games while others did not.

I forgive every little animal I killed, starting with that lizard, should of never have happened. All I ever wanted was to come closer to it's anatomy but apparently a mirror wasn't necessary, although back then there was no such a thing as the internet. We played games with every possible animal, like lizards, spiders, hens, roosters and ants.

The German Shepherd was a female, she lived from side to side of the house, trying to find a good spot. I memorized all the positions she used to lay, sometimes we would go hunting together.

This time I had two turtles, they were both named after famous politicians (lol). I don't remember how I got those but they were very friendly and easy to handle. I had them caged in a pool that had a little swing for them to play.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

What's the size of my penis, nothing much, chilling.

I was stranded for hours by the resort, it became a ritual almost. What's the deal with my insencere laugh, I guess it's made of funny pictures. When I dealt with the pain to adjust the salutations I conquered my own life.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Before I crossed everyone started yelling at me so all I did... interrupt.

A bride grooming some
A homeless ruins the crop
Lights charged the flower
Lost here I come.

Cancel the meeting I said
They looked at me surprised
Where do you come from they asked
I said nothing

You should of seen their faces
All looking paralyzed
I said nothing
Where do you come from they asked
A giant nose said some
Boss who are you, I am no boss.

Friday, September 19, 2014

The Best Days Of My Life

I tried to explain things to her. I tried to tell her how much I loved her. I said hey! I'm here for you! But deep down I knew I wasn't. Certain things had changed, like the way she used to look at me. Our history is not the one to be told. It may require one or two bottles of whiskey to get you started.

We met at the airport, of a beautiful island called Santa Lucia. It's our anniversary she said -We need to do something about our relationship, something that makes it seem valuable. That one expression dragged me back to that day at the airport.  She wore a pink dress that caught my attention from the very first moment. I was drinking a beer when she offered to sit next to me.

In the morning I woke up with the most beautiful creature you've ever seen on this planet. The way her hair fell right in place made me fall in love with her. -I'm not here to discuss your stupid bed stories. My mind was completely captivated by the way she expressed herself that night. - If you don't do it I will have to. The thought of her getting into my business made me feel like I had been born again. -My parents won't be back until next week. We walked to the apartment and she laughed like someone that never laughed before.