What else do you want from me God? Have I not been the person you expected me to be? How much more must I prove to you? I can't stop doing it. It's not what I came here to do. I can stop it for a moment, maybe a few years, please understand that I'm not here with you. The body made me do it, I came across the joint and it blew up my whole mind.
Have I not fornicated enough? I may have not. All I remember is that when she lost her virginity I felt nothing, nothing. I had no feelings for her or whatsoever, she was just an object to me and I faked all my the emotions I seemed to have during those wonderful years.
Breaking up with her was not a mistake, it's something that happened while the blowing wind convinced me to do that. Her heart was torn to pieces and she will never forgive me. I understood what it feels like to be in her shoes, it took time but eventually I did. I moved on and she did the same but when we saw each other again the smell of her skin convinced me to sin again.
We haven't seen each other ever since, she probably hates me and I don't expect to hear from her. Instead of flowing with that I am now being told to do, I prefer to convince myself again and it wasn't true. I made up those feelings and I alone let them consume me so what better solution than being myself. This will not be easy, I won't give up that easily but I have to.
Give me a reason God, was it how envious I felt for others, that happened. It must have been a mistake, because I thought they were all better than me and I forgot about you. Now that you're with me I know we'll get past the seasons and years to come. You and I alone will not fail, like you said previously, it's not the intention that counts it is who counts in it, God, please forgive me, I don't.
No comments:
Post a Comment